Black Eyes, and Impromptu Makeout Sessions
by Saber Wing
Summary: Feynriel is in the Fade when Hawke and company find him, and he's not quite sure what's real, and what isn't. Anders vows to help him out with that. DAWC writing prompt. Warning for insanity and complete incoherence.


_**Author's Note: **_It's nearly 3:00 a.m., I just got home from work…and I'm _still _writing. That is dedication :p

This is for a prompt in the _Dragon Age Writers' Corner_: _Write with a pairing you don't usually use/that surprises you. Long or short as you want._

I used a generator that pairs up random Dragon Age characters and gives you a topic. I got Anders and Feynriel. Topic? A black eye, and I have no idea what to do with it. So, I'm going to make this up as I go and see how it turns out. Here it goes xD

_**Black Eyes, and Impromptu Make-Out Sessions**_

"I'm not sure if this is real. If so, this is the second time I owe you my life."

Anders stepped forward before Feynriel could say anything further, Hawke cocking a curious eyebrow in his direction. The mage ignored him, instead opting to approach the young man, who was starting to look more and more confused as the seconds rolled by.

"Here, let me help you with that," Anders said, in a tone so dead-pan, Hawke nodded and grunted his approval in the background. Without further ado, he drew his staff from its customary place on his back, spun it around, and smacked Feynriel dead in the face with it, hitting his left eye and causing him to recoil violently, screeching and swearing the whole way through.

"What the hell was _that _for?" Feynriel shrieked, both hands clutching his eye as if they could somehow keep the agony at bay.

"Well it hurt, didn't it?"

"No, I'm just writhing in pain because it makes me look _cool." _

"No need to be snide. I was just helping. It wouldn't hurt if it wasn't some form of real, now would it?" Anders nodded in renewed conviction, pleased with himself.

Meanwhile, Hawke was laughing so hard, he appeared to be seconds away from having a seizure. Somehow, he managed to choke out a response between gasps. "Wow, Anders. Just…wow. And…where…where did Justice go, anyway? Weren't you just in evil spirit mode a second ago?"

"Shhhh. _He'll hear you."_

There was an awkward silence of about two or three seconds, in which all present tried to understand what in the name of Andraste's dimpled ass check was going on here.

However, Feynriel gave up rather quickly in favor of rage. Unsurprising, under the circumstances. "You're a frickin' psychopath! Who just runs up on someone in the _Fade _and smacks them in the face with a big ass wooden stick? Pain doesn't necessarily mean this is really happening, you know. You guys just fought some demons and it hurt when _they _hit you, but this could still be just a stupid dream that means nothing in the long run. It could all be a meaningless illusion."

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "All right. Clearly, I must try another tactic."

"What…" Feynriel began…but he was abruptly silenced by a pair of lips. A pair of lips that crushed against his and utterly _consumed _him with a need he'd never thought possible. And…wait wait wait. Oh _Maker,_ was that his tongue?

Feynriel sighed with pleasure. Yup. Tongue. Definitely.

To the disappointment of slash fiction authors everywhere, it was over far too soon. Anders pulled away, panting, both men were flushed, and Hawke seemed to be sketching something naughty on a piece of paper he had pulled out of nowhere.

"Real enough for you?"

Feynriel smirked. "Oh, I don't know. Might need to try that again just to be sure."

Anders leaned in once again, voice husky with need. "I thought you said I was a psychopath?"

"I did. I never said it wasn't sexy."

And so, Anders and Feynriel went back to what they were up to before, as Hawke continued to scribble graphic drawings and write out random lines of dialog, while muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Varric and Isabela are going to love this.' They forgot exactly what they were doing there, but no one cared, because they got to watch two attractive men make out for an indeterminate amount of time.

The End.

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This is what happens when you let me write anything after a long day, and no sleep. I'm not sure what just happened, but I'm fairly certain that it's _hilarious. _And almost completely incoherent xD

Hope you enjoyed it, in any case *falls asleep*


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